Your internal dialogue? All those things which you haven’t said, would never say?
They are still making their way into the conversation on an energetic level.
And your expectations, the things which later result in a “I knew you would say that” - well they’re part of the conversation too.
If you’ve already had the whole conversation in your mind before even getting in the same room (this is common) you are going to find out that the real thing will play out in much the way you expected.
Here’s how you can give yourself, the other person, and your relationship a better outcome:
If you want to mentally rehearse a tricky conversation, why not imagine the best of outcomes? Instead of mentally preparing your arguments and comebacks, spend time considering and feeling into this:
How good would it feel to get the most positive outcome?
And really commit to it, not in a “oh this would never happen kind of way” but in a “what if it really could work out like this?” kind of way.
Give them a chance. Just because you think you know what they’re going to say, and even if that’s based on plenty of past data, allow that they might be open to a new approach. Bring your curiosity to the conversation and genuinely give them your full attention when listening to their response. See if you can learn anything new through this interaction.
Give yourself compassion. Relationships are our mirrors and our teachers. Sometimes it’s not the most convenient or desirable time for a lesson, yet, if we are willing in the moment to be open, we may find a beautiful opportunity for connection. And if we’re not, we can at least take accountability for the part we play, and take the time to look after ourselves.
Wishing you all peace, harmony and connection in all your relationships, including, and especially the one with yourself. x